I'm so fucking centered right now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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