Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
