There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
