I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
