i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
