Your tits are I can't wait for
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
