He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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