Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
