I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
