I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
