I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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