dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize