I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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