Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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