the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
