Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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