i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
