wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
