Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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