Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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