We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
