Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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