I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
