He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
