we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
