Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I smell stomach acid.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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