how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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