where does the pee come out of this thing
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
