Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
