i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
