You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
