Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
