remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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