shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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