I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
