Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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