so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
