His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize