At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
