Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
