i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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