I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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