So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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