My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
