It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
thus making me awesome and them whores
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
