Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
