You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
