idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Are we still banned from the library?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
