Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
