dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
