i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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