TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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