The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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