mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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