We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
