i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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