I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
