Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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