Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
