Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
