Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
