she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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