Kiss
Puke
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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