he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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